To add a little more insult to his adversaries’ loss, Lt. Commander Satrapa impersonated a junior-grade lieutenant during the mission debrief, which was done over the telephone
Created in 1968 as a replacement for the controversial F-111B, which was still being developed for the Navy’s carrier-based fighter force, the F-14A was equipped with Pratt & Whitney TF30 engines, the AWG-9 radar system, and six Phoenix missiles originally planned for the F-111B. An entirely new fighter concept was built around these elements, balancing close-range combat capability with long-range missile engagement. Since its first flight on Dec. 21, 1970, the F-14A progressed through five years of development, testing, squadron training, and early carrier operations to emerge as the most powerful fighter in the carrier air wing.
Overall, the F-14 Tomcat stood unmatched among the Free World’s Cold War fighters. Its AWG-9 weapons control system could direct six long-range AIM-54A Phoenix missiles at six different enemy aircraft simultaneously. For engagements at medium range, it carried Sparrow missiles, while Sidewinders and a 20mm cannon were available for close-in dogfighting.
In that role, the Tomcat’s variable-sweep wings gave the F-14 a level of combat maneuverability that a conventional fixed-wing design could not match, something legendary Naval Aviator Joe “Hoser” Satrapa demonstrated the first time he flew the aircraft in a mock dogfight against two USAF F-15 Eagles.
As George Hall notes in Top Gun – The Navy’s Fighter Weapons School, no discussion of modern section tactics—or of naval aviation more broadly—would be complete without a couple of Hoser stories. Among the relatively small community of roughly 400 Tomcat pilots, a handful of wild, larger-than-life figures rose to prominence. Joe “Hoser” Satrapa had already earned a reputation in Vietnam as a young, exceptionally fearless F-8 pilot who routinely carried around forty pounds of lethal gear—favoring small automatic weapons and hand grenades—in case he was ever forced to leave his aircraft and take the fight directly to the enemy in the jungle.
Hoser excelled at gun fighting in the air. He flew the four-gun Crusader in Southeast Asia—an aircraft many Navy pilots still consider the finest [deleted] machine ever built—and unlike his Navy Phantom counterparts, he was never forced to depend entirely on missiles. After negotiations dramatic enough to rival a pro football draft, Hoser was pressed back into the Tomcat’s front seat to serve as a RAG gunnery instructor. This came only after personal appeals from the highest levels, including Secretary of the Navy John Lehman, who was also a Reserve naval aviator.
Many active pilots and RIOs still vividly recall Hoser’s manic tirades directed at fresh-faced RAG newcomers. Using his trademark Yosemite Sam voice, he would drive the young men—and always himself as well—into a fierce fighting frenzy: “Pull on the pole till the rivets pop and the RIO pukes! No kill like a guns kill! A Lima up the tailpipe is too good for any Gomer! Close with the miserable Commie [deleted] and put a few rounds of twenty-twenty-mike-mike through his canopy! If he hits the silk, gun his ass while he swings!” Afterward, Hoser would stalk the corridor, colliding with unlucky petty officers, muttering curses, and trying to realign his internal INS.
Hoser also had a strong grasp of surprise tactics. During the heavily criticized AIMVAL-ACEVAL fighter evaluations about a decade earlier, he was matched in a one-on-one engagement against a Navy Aggressor pilot flying an F-5. While the two aircraft sat side by side on the Nellis runway waiting for tower clearance for a second launch, Hoser glanced at his opponent, lifted his hand above the control panel, and pantomimed cocking machine guns like a World War I Spad pilot. The other pilot responded with a thumbs-up—guns it would be, a classic knife fight in a phone booth, with missiles set aside. Both aircraft then roared into the air.
Once in the area, the fighters were positioned twenty miles apart for a ground-controlled head-on intercept. At seven miles before the merge, with a closure rate well above 1,000 knots, Hoser called “Fox One”—indicating a Sparrow missile launch that would have been impossible to evade. As the two jets streaked past one another, the enraged F-5 pilot radioed, “What the hell was that all about?” Hoser replied, “Sorry, lost my head. Let’s set up again. Guns only, I promise.”
Think of Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the football. Once again, the two fighters charged toward the merge, and once again, Hoser called “Fox One” at seven miles. The Aggressor was furious, and he was also nearing bingo fuel, a frequent problem for the short-range F-5.
Hoser made it back to the club bar first, relaxing with an end-of-day drink when the red-faced Aggressor stormed in. “Hoser, what the hell happened to credibility?” the F-5 pilot demanded angrily. Hoser replied, gesturing with his thumbs, “Credibility is DOWN, kill ratio is UP!” This has become a well-known Top Gun story, and its lesson is clear to both students and instructors. Whether it is a one-on-one engagement or a forty-aircraft furball, anything can happen. But never expect your enemy to be a sweet guy.”
As Alvin Towley explains in Fly Navy: Discovering the Extraordinary People and Enduring Spirit of Naval Aviation, on another occasion, Hoser was scheduled to fight a two-versus-two engagement against a pair of U.S. Air Force F-15 Eagles. Before takeoff, his wingman experienced mechanical problems and was unable to fly, but Hoser chose to launch anyway and use the situation to his advantage. He and his Tomcat NFO—known in the F-14 community as a Radar Intercept Officer, or RIO—departed and began pretending over the radio to be two separate aircraft. Expecting to face two opponents, the F-15 pilots became distracted while trying to locate the “other” Navy jet on their radar displays. Hoser then scored two gun kills, staying outside missile envelopes until he was near enough to employ his 20 mm cannon. In the second round, he completely outflew the Air Force pilots and claimed two additional gun kills. As he always said, “There’s no kill like a guns kill.”
To further add to his opponents’ embarrassment, Lt. Commander Satrapa posed as a junior lieutenant during the mission debrief, which took place by telephone. The Air Force pilots were left believing they had been beaten by a student aviator. On Mar. 17, 2019, former F-14 Tomcat Radar Intercept Officer David “Hey Joe” Parsons announced on Facebook that Joe “Hoser” Satrapa, a legend in Naval Aviation, had died “after a Simple, Honest and Brave Life.”
Click here to read the complete story of Joe “Hoser” Satrapa’s famous F-15 kills.
Photo by U.S. Navy
